2013 in review: Surrender, Trust, & Dharma

At the beginning of 2013, I was expecting a busy year ahead of me with teaching and some travel. I assembled a tidy list to keep everything organized because that is how I sort out my mind. I was looking forward to traveling to the Galapagos Islands with Eric in the beginning of March and had two summer trips planned to the Adirondack Mountains to be with family. There were workshops and trainings scheduled which I was preparing to promote and teach, and a year of Shakti Circle planned out according to the moon, seasons, stars, and planetary retrogrades. I stayed up late, scheming. Brewing, churning, creating. Casting my intentions on the New Moon and coveting the adventures to come. Feeling secure in having things to look forward to and grateful for full schedule of yoga teaching. When complete, I proudly shoved my schedule into my roommate Brooke’s face and asked if SHE knew where she would be on October 20th 2013!? I DID!

Ha! I thought I did.

By April, I realized I was completely overcommitted and spreading myself too thin. The rhythm of my own Yoga practice was practically lost. In my ambition, I was unable to find the balance between work and personal life. It’s a challenging line to identify when you make a living doing something you love. Teaching Yoga is the best job I could ever ask for. It prompts me to be clear with my words, awake with my attention, and meet people in a place where we can work together best. I’ve often thought that the best version of myself is when I am teaching. Finding the balance meant setting boundaries to my availability and more importantly, actually committing to it. I carved out TWO days off a week! This also meant letting go of commitments which were no longer serving me. This was hard for me to do. I cried a lot over severing the cords to that which once fed and nourished but now drained and exhausted. Anything that was left on that 2013 agenda was thrown out entirely by July, as I prepared to leave New York for Hong Kong in the Fall with my beloved. How conceded of me to think I could plan out the year of my Saturn Return? It’s been a transformative time and has instilled in me a deeper trust in fate, trust in love, and trust in myself. I kept a postcard of a migrating sea turtle close by to remind me to “surrender to the journey”. For most of the year, it has felt like I was simply trying to keep up with the flow of the current.

surrenderI am now in a place of re-creation. Since arriving three months ago, the majority of my existential angst has been not teaching as much Yoga as I would like to. Well, that and the lack of quality bagels available in Asia. The term “Dharma” or divine duty rings true with this unshakable urge to serve others through teaching. I did not realize till moving across the globe the community of support I had in New York. How from the very beginning of my teaching career I had help from those around me and have been unbelievable lucky because of this. I am starting to meet some soulful yogis and trust that I will find my tribe of misfits in Hong Kong soon enough. This time has offered me the opportunity to recommit to my own Yoga and wellness, which never fails to inspire my own teaching and peace of mind. This space gives me the time and energy to nourish my relationship and our sacred partnership. This chapter in my story gives me the chance to read, write, bake cookies, grow plants, discover new lands, and continue to take many, many pictures of my cat.

As for 2014, there are some exciting prospects on the horizon but, let’s not get too specific just yet. There’s gonna be; lots of love, travel, yoga, and creativity! And I give myself full permission to change my mind and redecorate the path at any point along the way.

Namaste.

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